Requiem For a Boot

I saw them first in the Topshop in Oxford Street. Chaotically loud music blared over the three levels of clothing in cheap and stupefying profusion. The boots were tumbled together as though tossed aside at a peg-legged orgy—a mass of single specimens vaguely hinting at the idea of rows on the shelves. I didn’t buy them then, even though they clearly appealed to me with their aggressive silver toes and metal heels. That toe was like the beak of a cyborg vulture. I touched them—real leather—and idly turned them over thinking that while they were lovely I of course would have nowhere to wear them when I returned home. I rarely have occasion to stray from my uniform of dark denim, ironic black t-shirt and pointy-toed flats worn with stripey socks at home. So I left them there for some girl with a more adventurous life.

When I ran into them again two days later I couldn’t resist trying them on. Oh, they looked good. Even though I knew I would likely wear them once to some bar, internally complaining the whole while that my feet hurt, I could not resist them again. I ponied up the 120 pounds and stuffed the boots into my backpack in triumph. We were off to Berlin next and I hoped I’d have a cause to wear them there.

I made it to Berlin, but my luggage didn’t. The boots sat in my suitcase, which was in turn in some dark secret room in Tegel where lost luggage goes to die. I waited for the boots to come to me. After five days, we left Berlin without the luggage. All I could imagine was that the bottles of Lush shower gel that were sharing the luggage with the boots would burst all over them, destroying the leather or worse.
It was a few days after my return home that the luggage was delivered to my house. I dove into the bag and pulled out the goo-free boots. They looked as wicked as they had in the shop. I placed them in my closet with satisfaction.

On Valentine’s day I grabbed the boots. Finally, I would try these ass-kickers out. I had on already a black dress and lace stockings. I stuck my left foot into the boot and zipped it up. Awesome. I went to put on the right boot. The right boot. Where was the right one?

I had two left boots.

They’ve gone back in the mail today for a refund. And they are sold out completely online and in the stores.


One Response to “Requiem For a Boot”

  1. Seren Jade Says:

    Hey I feel compelled to let you know I have two brand new pairs for sale on my ebay account- a size 3 and a size 6. Let me know if either are your size!

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